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As I try to move forward

9/14/2013

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Picture
Our last vacation together, you are standing next to Uncle Paul in this picture.  We went to visit him in Washington. We rode the train from Los Angeles to Seattle, it took a day and a half, but we enjoyed the journey. You and I sat together, across from your daddy George and Danny. I brought plenty of magazines for you to read, which you rapidly moved through on the long trip. We were unsure how you would handle being on a plane, so the reason to take the train. The plan was that daddy George would test ride you on a small plane ride to Las Vegas, as a first step in preparation for future vacations across the states.

Such a wonderful vacation we had in Washington; we always had great vacations!  How could we have known that less than 2-months later you would be gone? I still find it so difficult to say you died; you are gone to me. To your sister you have never left and are continually away whenever she visits home. Such is grief.  On our own terms can we continue and on our own terms should we continue; it is a personal journey. For myself, I try to move forward, one baby step at a time.

Your departure from my life leaves a deep void that can never be filled. It is a hollow, deep, abyss swirling with wants and desires to generate your presence back into my life, and make purpose for the loss of such a beloved son! This site is one of those wants. I hope those who take the time to read it, these blogs or updates and posts, will feel your presence in their lives, will know a little bit more about you, your life, your specialness, each time I have the fortitude to write. Hopefully I will do better and more often in that regard, as time continues.

So many things to do; so many roads to travel; is it futile; is this mothers dream of preserving your existence into her presence without merit? I think not, but time will tell. So I continue and move forward one step at a time.  Love you deeply, miss you always!




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    Diane Linares

    I am mother and this is my gift to honor and remember my son and the gifts he gave to others.

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