My husband and I were honored to do a Floralgraph, for another donor family, at the Donate Life Rose parade decoration site on Sat. Dec. 7th. Our young man, Fernando, was only 17 years old; and was the victim of random violence. Too young; too soon! In death he saved 4 lives. His family, in Arizona, will complete the Floralgraph in his home town (we do everything but the brows) and then it will be returned in time for placement on the float. I do not wish to provide more, as the loss of a loved one should remain private; it is for the family to decide if they wish to share.
This was our 3rd Floralgraph. It was a cold day in Pasadena; it was also a very draining day emotionally for us! Yesterday, I could not get up and out of bed until it was time for church in the evening. It appeared to me so many of the Floralgraph's were children (many just babies!) or maybe I was just drawn to their pictures most often. The day, so cold, rainy, and gloomy was also, in my opinion, very appropriate; it was visually sad to see such loss displayed across the tables and stations where we and others worked. Yet the tribute, the words the families wrote about their loved ones, and the joy and excitement of the family members who could be there, decorating their own loved ones Floralgraph, remain most cherished in my memory.
My son was honored with a Floralgraph on the 2012 Rose Parade float (his Floralgraph was sponsored by the “Joseph Helfgot Foundation.” His wife, Susan Helfgot, wrote his story in a book called the "The Match." Most Floralgraph’s are sponsored by outside organizations, hospitals, and private foundations; someday I too hope to sponsor a Floralgraph in Brian's memory. But until then, we volunteer our time, our heart, our love and our emotions in tenderly putting together a floragraph for an out of state family, who we hope will find comfort in receiving it.
We take care to make the eyes and smile exact as possible, and hope to always leave the countenance of the face as true to their picture as possible. It is not easy, and it is very stressful. We leave a part of ourselves with each Floralgraph; and take a part of that person's story and life with us when we come home. I still carry the story and love for the young lady, Kristen, whose Floralgraph we did last year. She had died from a fatal asthma attack while on vacation. She was 28 years old and lived in Michigan. We met her parents at the Floralgraph brunch that year. We hope to meet the parents of Fernando at this year’s brunch.
I know the news and media coverage at this time is all about Paul Walker and Nelson Mandela. I believe we all must feel the same, in that we would all want our loved ones so honored, remembered, and shared with the world. We do not want them to be forgotten. We all wish them to be recognized as the special, remarkable person they were in our lives, which the world did not see. But after the parade, after the decorations, ceremonies and memorial celebrations, one person is still missing from the home, a void remains in the group, and the hole in your heart is still there. As time moves forward, those who will face another holiday, birthday, or just another ordinary day, with a vacant place at the table, will be the family and friends who knew and loved them the most while they lived, celebrity or not.
I have my son's Floralgraph hanging in my house, it is beautiful, but it is seeds and organic materials...it is not my son. His memory, his warmth, his beauty, his story remains in my heart. It is my duty to carry his story forward. His was not a national story or a world event. He did not change a nation, nor did he have world-wide fame and fortune with thousands of fans mourning his passing. Tributes did not come forward from across the lands, accolades and songs will not be recited or sung in his memory, movies will not be made about his life, nor novels and stories written, unless by my efforts alone.
This year, on the anniversary of my son’s birthday, and the 4th year of his death, only few family and friends called me to acknowledge the dates, and ask how I was doing. It is understandable to me now, after my anger at the inconsideration soon following into sadness gave way… because “life goes on” as that horrid saying goes, “life goes on.” Everyone has their own personal world of rewards, tributes and special moments with dearly loved family and friends. They are posting accolades about them, and sharing memories with them, at this moment…today…this hour. Life goes on, but for us, be it the loss of a child, spouse, parent or sibling we remember yesterday; because yesterday is all we have left of them today.
As emotionally draining as Saturday was, my husband and I are grateful we had the opportunity to help be a part of giving something back to Fernando’s family; not just the Floralgraph, but that we read his story, and we have placed him in our hearts; and that Fernando (their beloved son) will always be remembered by us and his story will be shared. Sometimes in grief that is all you need to get you through another day.
This was our 3rd Floralgraph. It was a cold day in Pasadena; it was also a very draining day emotionally for us! Yesterday, I could not get up and out of bed until it was time for church in the evening. It appeared to me so many of the Floralgraph's were children (many just babies!) or maybe I was just drawn to their pictures most often. The day, so cold, rainy, and gloomy was also, in my opinion, very appropriate; it was visually sad to see such loss displayed across the tables and stations where we and others worked. Yet the tribute, the words the families wrote about their loved ones, and the joy and excitement of the family members who could be there, decorating their own loved ones Floralgraph, remain most cherished in my memory.
My son was honored with a Floralgraph on the 2012 Rose Parade float (his Floralgraph was sponsored by the “Joseph Helfgot Foundation.” His wife, Susan Helfgot, wrote his story in a book called the "The Match." Most Floralgraph’s are sponsored by outside organizations, hospitals, and private foundations; someday I too hope to sponsor a Floralgraph in Brian's memory. But until then, we volunteer our time, our heart, our love and our emotions in tenderly putting together a floragraph for an out of state family, who we hope will find comfort in receiving it.
We take care to make the eyes and smile exact as possible, and hope to always leave the countenance of the face as true to their picture as possible. It is not easy, and it is very stressful. We leave a part of ourselves with each Floralgraph; and take a part of that person's story and life with us when we come home. I still carry the story and love for the young lady, Kristen, whose Floralgraph we did last year. She had died from a fatal asthma attack while on vacation. She was 28 years old and lived in Michigan. We met her parents at the Floralgraph brunch that year. We hope to meet the parents of Fernando at this year’s brunch.
I know the news and media coverage at this time is all about Paul Walker and Nelson Mandela. I believe we all must feel the same, in that we would all want our loved ones so honored, remembered, and shared with the world. We do not want them to be forgotten. We all wish them to be recognized as the special, remarkable person they were in our lives, which the world did not see. But after the parade, after the decorations, ceremonies and memorial celebrations, one person is still missing from the home, a void remains in the group, and the hole in your heart is still there. As time moves forward, those who will face another holiday, birthday, or just another ordinary day, with a vacant place at the table, will be the family and friends who knew and loved them the most while they lived, celebrity or not.
I have my son's Floralgraph hanging in my house, it is beautiful, but it is seeds and organic materials...it is not my son. His memory, his warmth, his beauty, his story remains in my heart. It is my duty to carry his story forward. His was not a national story or a world event. He did not change a nation, nor did he have world-wide fame and fortune with thousands of fans mourning his passing. Tributes did not come forward from across the lands, accolades and songs will not be recited or sung in his memory, movies will not be made about his life, nor novels and stories written, unless by my efforts alone.
This year, on the anniversary of my son’s birthday, and the 4th year of his death, only few family and friends called me to acknowledge the dates, and ask how I was doing. It is understandable to me now, after my anger at the inconsideration soon following into sadness gave way… because “life goes on” as that horrid saying goes, “life goes on.” Everyone has their own personal world of rewards, tributes and special moments with dearly loved family and friends. They are posting accolades about them, and sharing memories with them, at this moment…today…this hour. Life goes on, but for us, be it the loss of a child, spouse, parent or sibling we remember yesterday; because yesterday is all we have left of them today.
As emotionally draining as Saturday was, my husband and I are grateful we had the opportunity to help be a part of giving something back to Fernando’s family; not just the Floralgraph, but that we read his story, and we have placed him in our hearts; and that Fernando (their beloved son) will always be remembered by us and his story will be shared. Sometimes in grief that is all you need to get you through another day.
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